My ex-husband and I were married 34 years. Of those 34 years I would say the majority of them were contented, fulfilling and happy. Unfortunately, things happen and we found ourselves at odds with each other, went our separate ways for five years and then divorced.
During all the years we were married we never quarreled, said nasty things to one another and always respected each others feelings. We have two grown children and have always believed in our love and our responsibilities as parents was to always demonstrate that love even when we decided to divorce.
Through our divorce we remained close, stayed in touch and our lives although separate seemed to mirror one another. He moved to SC to live with his mother to help with her health issues until she was declared incompetent and moved to Florida so the younger brother could look after her in a nursing home. I moved in with my mother and took care of her for 13 years until she joined my father.
Now my ex needs us and because of our relationship and how we always felt for each other, there was never a hesitation to help him in his time of need. So our son and I put all things aside, stopped working, and joined him in SC to now be his health care provider.
During your youth and lives together as young couples, the thought of having to face your own mortality doesn't cross your mind until that day your doctor tells you your life has peaked and you need to make plans and preparations.
For three years he had neurological symptoms that would come and go until one time he fell inside the doctor's clinic and they began to look closer at his problem. After three years and lengthy tests, he was told he had ALS-average life span is 3-5 years.
We are here with him because we did not want him to live the last of his life in an institution. He is now on a ventilator and bed bound. His spirits are good and his mental outlook always remains upbeat. We laugh, we share moments and we silently cry. We provide his home health care 24/7 and are by his side non-stop. This is the fourth hospital visit since January and we now know that some day in the not too distant future he will not be coming home. We love him enough to give of ourselves when he needs it most because that is what he did for us during our lifetimes. He is the most giving and selfless man I've ever had the privilege of knowing.
During these times it makes us realize just how lonely life will be without him and I thank God every day for the privilege of knowing him, loving him and being with him to his very end. Please play "Unchained Melody" as this was our song when we began dating in June of 1965.
Thank you for all the enjoyable, heart rendering stories and moments you share with all of us.
A faithful listener,
Your letter breaks my heart, but in a way, it also enlarges my heart. You and your husband have real, true and lasting love. You divorced, but you didn't...you might have gone apart for a few years, but the love and respect you had for one another is still as strong as ever, and will last not only for this life time, but for all eternity.
May God bless him and comfort him and let his last days be peaceful and joy filled. And may God give you and your family the strength you need to face this challenge with Grace.
God bless you,